Peeps, I have some news for you.
The time has come for me to make a big decision. I’m very excited to tell you that, as of tomorrow, I shall be sending Mummy and Daddy off into the big wide world without me for 3 mornings a week. Meanwhile I shall be starting at playgroup; tomorrow is the first social get-together with my new buddies, just hanging out and keeping it real with some new toys and books. Oh – and there will be some brand new grown-ups there, too.
Some home truths
Quite frankly, I am bored with having to endure weekly trips to Tesco (what is it with parents and food shopping? It’s not like us little people eat the food anyway). Softplay and trips to the park are fun, and Mummy gets a lot out of those excursions I guess. But I fancy a change from the climbing, sliding, running, building and all manner of other things that keep me busy while she looks on, heart in her mouth every time I want to launch myself head first off a slide.
I’ve loved our weekly singing and pretending classes too – you should see Mummy’s little face light up when I sing along to the songs in the car on the way home. It’s been a blast and all that, but (no offence to the ‘rents) Mummy and Daddy are really starting to cramp my style. I need a bit of time-out from the pair of them, I’ll be honest.Keeping busy
Fear not though; I’m not leaving them unattended or unoccupied (can you IMAGINE!?) For Daddy, once his week off is up it’s back to work where he shall earn pennies to keep me in nappies and Peppa Pig paraphernalia.
For Mummy, well she’s in for a real treat. First off I have some well-planned missions up my sleeve to leave the house in such a state that it’ll be akin to a bombsite when she comes back through the door. Once she’s finished with those chores she can sit down at her computer and drum up a bit of freelance work; she reckons she’s pretty okay at this writing malarkey (I’ve taught her everything she knows, obvs), so it’s time for her to take some grown-up steps into the big wide world.
Time to man-up
Don’t get me wrong, there will be tears tomorrow I’m sure. It’s a big deal, after all; since I rocked up, Mummy’s been my sidekick for the 5 days a week that Daddy has gone to work (and the other 2 days as well – honestly, she is always RIGHT THERE). As for Daddy, well, up until now he’s spent that time at work safe in the knowledge that Mummy’s in capable hands. But the time has come for her to grow up, go to Tesco on her own and stop dragging me to the park and softplay just so that she can make friends.
So spare a thought tomorrow morning. Think of Mummy, who will be crying like something deranged, and think of Daddy, who will have to deal with her sobbing like a baby while out in public. I’ve spent a lot of time in recent months prepping the pair of them for such social faux pas, so he’s well primed to deal with her behaviour.
You can think of me, too, if you like. I’ll be the one busying myself with all sorts of fun, having a bit of ‘me time’ and chillaxing at playgroup, I just hope the olds manage without me.
Wish me luck!